Common Money Mistakes Couples Make And How to Fix Them Without Fighting
/Common Money Mistakes Couples Make And How to Fix Them Without Fighting
You have probably gone through a couple of situations in which it was not very clear who has what responsibilities. Nothing strange as this can happen to anyone - you could say, but when the subject is a financial one, things can take an unwanted turn. Of course, there is not the best way for couples to manage money as a family, but there can be money management for couples that can make you and your partner financially happier.
Discussions about the couple's money are not only useful but also interesting
Everyone has their own perspective on finances, but discussions, going back and forth about different ideas, help to find common grounds, and therefore less unwanted situations. How do couples manage money in general and how do they end up having a fight about money or just being happy with the decisions they took?
From my experience, I came up with a few main problems that couples might face and also a few possible solutions that worked for me in the past.
Lack of communication
From the amount of money earned or spent by each member of the family and the pursuit of common goals. Ideally, you should set a day and time to talk about where the couple is now and where you want to go - financially speaking. Where the money comes from and where it goes.
I definitely want to spend most of my money on travel, but my partner considers it’s also important to save for retirement. Therefore, we always need to compromise, mostly me, because I don’t get enough days off from work to travel as much as I would like.
By talking to each other about your desires and goals, you set common ground on how to spend family’s money and you have sure that both of you are happy with the outcome.
Differences in education and appetite for risk
They often lead to different opinions and behaviors of acquisition, money management, and investment. It's okay not to be the same, but as long as differences are recognized and accepted, you can find common goals that meet both the need for financial security and the need to fulfill plans as quickly as possible.
I was raised to take the higher risk possible when it comes to life decisions but on the other hand, I am not a person that will spend all her salary on guilty pleasures, such as plane tickets, shoes, or make-up. My partner was raised to save as much as possible now and enjoy it later.
Having such a different approach to money can be hard, but making sure you have financial security is important to live a happy life. Therefore, it’s important that no matter how much risk-averse you are, you should make the decisions together with your partner.
Lack of planning and monitoring of expenditures
It leads to confusion, who pays what. Because if you don't plan, you don't know where you're going. And if you don't measure, you don't see what you can improve. There are several studies, that show how very few couples write down their expenses, and most of the couples just base their spending on recollection. Is mindfulness better than a pen and a sheet of paper? Test for at least a month and see the results.
There are a lot of apps nowadays that you can use to track your income and expenses. Use them and see how it goes, you might realize that all those money spent on a gym subscription during the lockdown were just wasted, and for sure you still can pause that subscription.
Lack of involvement in money management
I mean, the other one is in charge. But what do you do if the other one "disappears"? Through a divorce or separation, or something even worse. It is desirable to know that you can take care of yourself without the support of the other. But that means keeping up to date with the couple's financial situation.
I know this might sound very dramatic, but honestly, would you be able to take care of yourself if your partner just disappears today? Don’t think about Taken or any other crazy Sci-Fi movies, no alien will come to kidnap your partner, but you should consider your independence.
In conclusion, what to do?
There is no perfect recipe for everyone that can solve all the financial problems of any couple. Instead, I have some recommendations from my personal experience:
Increase your income by 10% every year;
See if you don't have another skill that is more sought after in the market so that you can change your career;
Educate yourself continuously;
Buy the things that are important to you, not the ones that would impress others;
Decide together, as a couple, what and when to buy;
Write down your expenses on a notebook, on your laptop, or using an app, and at the end of the month, you will have the real money situation well wrapped up - how the money come and where they go and how you can change the things that affect you in the direction you want...
If you have more ideas let me know in the comments below.
